“Howzat”

A colleague in the PE department was allocated to take a cricket team to the local independent school for a cricket match. However, hailing from a Welsh school that played no cricket he was a little unsure of umpiring etiquette. His counterpart from the independent school was immaculately turned out in his white coat, whereas this teacher was resplendent in tee shirt and shorts. Inter-school staff relationships deteriorated further when my colleague was required to adjudicate on a close “run out” call. Having seen how umpires “behave” in American Baseball which he had seen on TV, he moved nimbly to one side, confidently waved his arms across his body and declared loudly “SAFE!!!” This performance was much to the despair of the opposition umpire. His final onslaught on cricket umpiring etiquette was whenever a wicket fell my colleague indicated not with the traditional raised index finger but with a dramatic point to the pavilion accompanied with a loud “You’re Outta Here”.
We were never invited back to this school!